"Join the alliance!" said Pilotface
"Oh no you don't, you FUCK!" complained an alien
He drew his gun and set it to 'stun'
"NO!" he cried- suddenly, there was a huge blast.
Fuck.
"Right. Men! At arms! Who is hurt?"
"Aargh!" screamed Nigel, one of Pilotface's Major Generals
"Nigel! What's wrong with you?"
"Curses! It's my ankle, sir. It keeps playing up"
"I see" muttered Pilotface. "I can say one thing to that.... You're fired"
"SUCK YOU!" screamed Nigel, realising it made no sense. He didn't correct himself though, he just went crying to the space-mods. They were in Space, you see.
Monday, 28 July 2008
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Space Wars In Space THE XXV
"Ignition's engaged" said the co-pilot of the SPACESHIP LOLLIPOP
"Our ship has a gay name" said vice-pilot ShitPoker
"Your MUM Has a gay name" replied the co-pilot. He laughed into his space milkshake.
He was then diagnosed with cancer. I dunno. Some sort of alien cancer.
"Our ship has a gay name" said vice-pilot ShitPoker
"Your MUM Has a gay name" replied the co-pilot. He laughed into his space milkshake.
He was then diagnosed with cancer. I dunno. Some sort of alien cancer.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
SWIS # 24
"Quick, back to the TARDIS!" Said the Doctor
"Fuck off" said Captain PilotFace
"Bad wolf bad bad wolf wolf wolf bad wolf Wolf bad wolf" said the TARDIS
"UH MOTHERFUCKING OH!"
"Fuck off" said Captain PilotFace
"Bad wolf bad bad wolf wolf wolf bad wolf Wolf bad wolf" said the TARDIS
"UH MOTHERFUCKING OH!"
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Friday, 20 June 2008
SPACE WARS TWENTY TWO
Written by Liam Olsen
“Holy powers of Spiderpants!” cried the co-pilot! “If that’s you, lying on the floor with your face hanging loosely off your skull like the loser in a ham-hurtling tournament, how come I can also see you stood in the doorway with your penis flowing majestically in the space-breeze!”
“Fear not you simple and possibly homosexual buffoon! The man on the floor is my twin brother, Scotty! I made him wear my uniform in case Jesus Fuck made it aboard while I was still in the shower plucking the space weevils from my anus!”
With that, Pilotface opened the airlock, said a few choice words and blew his brothers mince into the deep vast black of space. It was at that point that the ships computer realised the mortal danger that they were in!
“Beep-wer-bip! Captain, the enemy vessel recently lorded over by the late Jesus Fuck wishes to engage you in battle after your dead twin accidentally brutally murdered their lord and master! What should I tell them sir?”
Captain Pilotface stroked his goatie beard for a moment before realising he had shaved it off this morning
“Tell them I am sending over a huge crate of prostitutes and a bottle of Jaegermeister and see what happens!”
“But Sir,” insisted one of the crew. “We have no Jaegermeister or prostitutes! What will we send instead!”
“Send them a box labelled prostitutes… but filled with Plasma explosives….. and your wife!”
“Holy powers of Spiderpants!” cried the co-pilot! “If that’s you, lying on the floor with your face hanging loosely off your skull like the loser in a ham-hurtling tournament, how come I can also see you stood in the doorway with your penis flowing majestically in the space-breeze!”
“Fear not you simple and possibly homosexual buffoon! The man on the floor is my twin brother, Scotty! I made him wear my uniform in case Jesus Fuck made it aboard while I was still in the shower plucking the space weevils from my anus!”
With that, Pilotface opened the airlock, said a few choice words and blew his brothers mince into the deep vast black of space. It was at that point that the ships computer realised the mortal danger that they were in!
“Beep-wer-bip! Captain, the enemy vessel recently lorded over by the late Jesus Fuck wishes to engage you in battle after your dead twin accidentally brutally murdered their lord and master! What should I tell them sir?”
Captain Pilotface stroked his goatie beard for a moment before realising he had shaved it off this morning
“Tell them I am sending over a huge crate of prostitutes and a bottle of Jaegermeister and see what happens!”
“But Sir,” insisted one of the crew. “We have no Jaegermeister or prostitutes! What will we send instead!”
“Send them a box labelled prostitutes… but filled with Plasma explosives….. and your wife!”
Thursday, 19 June 2008
The 19th Space Wars in Space GOLLY
"Man the teleportomulator!" commanded Captain Pilotface, "we gotta get these aliens to a safe planet!"
The officer switched the teleportomulator on. Suddenly, it flashed blue.
"BLUE?!" enquired Pilotface, "what does THAT mean?"
The officer told Pilotface that it was the normal procedure for starting up the machine.
Captain Pilotface felt a bit of a tit, and proceeded to kill himself.
The officer switched the teleportomulator on. Suddenly, it flashed blue.
"BLUE?!" enquired Pilotface, "what does THAT mean?"
The officer told Pilotface that it was the normal procedure for starting up the machine.
Captain Pilotface felt a bit of a tit, and proceeded to kill himself.
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
[Space Wars in Space Fanart 2]
Crikey! Another piece of Fan art has been sent in! 13 Year old Declan Proud from Gayingtonshire-on-Gay has sent me this lovely portrait of Jesus Fuck, the King of Space!
Keep 'em coming, kids!
Keep 'em coming, kids!
[Space Wars in Space Fanart 1]
Today on Space Wars in Space Fanart, we have a drawing of Captain Pilotface sent in by Mrs. Sp@m who is aged 29 from West Yorkshire. You can click it to see a bigger version!
Very good Mrs. Sp@m! Keep them coming, kids!
Very good Mrs. Sp@m! Keep them coming, kids!
SPACE WARS 18 ON TOP OF SPACE
"Where am I?" said an Alien
"You're on a ship!" replied Captain Pilotface. "It was our main directive to save the citizens of this planet!"
"Wow! You... you're our saviour!" muttered one of the aliens
"Damn right I am, I'M JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"
Captain Pilotface had gone insane with space flu.
"You're on a ship!" replied Captain Pilotface. "It was our main directive to save the citizens of this planet!"
"Wow! You... you're our saviour!" muttered one of the aliens
"Damn right I am, I'M JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"
Captain Pilotface had gone insane with space flu.
SPACE WARS IN SPACE THE 17TH
"There must be some sort of hope" gasped one of the space aliens, with it's final breath
"There isn't.. unless a spaceship flies overhead with and of 15 cubic space miles" replied the same alien to himself.
Suddenly, one did
"There isn't.. unless a spaceship flies overhead with and of 15 cubic space miles" replied the same alien to himself.
Suddenly, one did
SPACE WARS IN SPACE 16
Written by Declan Proud
Jesus Fuck, King Of Space had perfected his master plan.
Having spent several hours, or 'Space Years', in his local hyperpark, he had collected enough robodog shit to smear under the handles of his co-workers car doors.
"This'll cunting grob their hang!" he cried in his broken, nonsensical Standard Galaxian. Severe learning difficulties had turned this mild-mannered spaceplumber into believing he was Jesus Fuck, King of Space, and Ruler of All Time.
Jesus Fuck, King Of Space had perfected his master plan.
Having spent several hours, or 'Space Years', in his local hyperpark, he had collected enough robodog shit to smear under the handles of his co-workers car doors.
"This'll cunting grob their hang!" he cried in his broken, nonsensical Standard Galaxian. Severe learning difficulties had turned this mild-mannered spaceplumber into believing he was Jesus Fuck, King of Space, and Ruler of All Time.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
The 15th chapter of SPACE WARS IN SPACE
Written by BatDyke
Though Lady Farninbourgh and Sir Reginald Bucksbury had been brutally raped and left for dead, the seven moons of planet Iox kept turning, and on one of the more desolate heaps of asteroid-pummeled rock wandered Overlord the overlord. He had been temporarily kicked out, since he was a bit of a rubbish leader, and the people he lorded over had decided to try democracy instead.
He stopped at a seedy bar, ordered a disgusting cocktail that looked, smelt and probably tasted of the 16-legged barkeep's semen, and stared forlornly into the star-studded sky, pausing his train of thought only to slap a passing stripper alien on the bum. She shrieked, and he cackled evilly, though, not as evilly as he used to when he was a proper Overlord.
Galaxies away, Jesus Fuck, the king of Space, was concocting a new game to play with the unsuspecting citizens of his local space co-op...
Though Lady Farninbourgh and Sir Reginald Bucksbury had been brutally raped and left for dead, the seven moons of planet Iox kept turning, and on one of the more desolate heaps of asteroid-pummeled rock wandered Overlord the overlord. He had been temporarily kicked out, since he was a bit of a rubbish leader, and the people he lorded over had decided to try democracy instead.
He stopped at a seedy bar, ordered a disgusting cocktail that looked, smelt and probably tasted of the 16-legged barkeep's semen, and stared forlornly into the star-studded sky, pausing his train of thought only to slap a passing stripper alien on the bum. She shrieked, and he cackled evilly, though, not as evilly as he used to when he was a proper Overlord.
Galaxies away, Jesus Fuck, the king of Space, was concocting a new game to play with the unsuspecting citizens of his local space co-op...
SPACE WARS IN SPACE 14
"No." said the King of space
"Don't you mean 'Yes', you highness?" replied the vice king
"Oh yeah. Yes." corrected the King
"Don't you mean 'Yes', you highness?" replied the vice king
"Oh yeah. Yes." corrected the King
SPACE WARS IN SPACE EPISODE THIRTEEN: A NEW HOPE
"Reginald," enquired Lady Farninbourgh, "why have you brought me to the Royal Gardens?"
"Well, as the wind blows through the leaves," replied Sir Reginald Bucksbury, "it can only be mirrored by the true beauty of your face. And, as I realise this beauty betwixt me sheer lack of realisa- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
Aliens then raped their faces
"Well, as the wind blows through the leaves," replied Sir Reginald Bucksbury, "it can only be mirrored by the true beauty of your face. And, as I realise this beauty betwixt me sheer lack of realisa- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
Aliens then raped their faces
Space Wars in Space Part 12
The citizens of the plant looked at all the rubble around them
"This is what remains of our planet" said one of the aliens, "nothing but dust and space"
"Hang on..." interjected a second, more alieny alien, "if our planet has been destroyed, then what the fuck are we standing on?"
Nobody had a fucking clue.
Meanwhile, in a parallel dimension, King MonkeyFuck had succesfully masturbated to climax for the twelth time in a row.
"This is what remains of our planet" said one of the aliens, "nothing but dust and space"
"Hang on..." interjected a second, more alieny alien, "if our planet has been destroyed, then what the fuck are we standing on?"
Nobody had a fucking clue.
Meanwhile, in a parallel dimension, King MonkeyFuck had succesfully masturbated to climax for the twelth time in a row.
Monday, 16 June 2008
Space Wars in Space Chapter XI
The planet had just been vapourised.
"Jesus fuck! What was that?!" muttered the space king of space under his breath
"I've no idea" replied Jesus Fuck, who was the Vice-King of space.
"Well," said the space king of space, "we must prepare... retaliation"
TO BE CONTINUED
"Jesus fuck! What was that?!" muttered the space king of space under his breath
"I've no idea" replied Jesus Fuck, who was the Vice-King of space.
"Well," said the space king of space, "we must prepare... retaliation"
TO BE CONTINUED
Space Wars in Space Chapter Ten
Overlord the Overlord sat in his space station looking at the planet below. He thought about the options that he had.
"I think I'll destroy that planet" he said, evilly.
"But that's EVIL!" contradicted the space-henchman
With a pull of the trigger on Overlord's spacegun, he shot the space-henchman to space-hell.
"That'll show him" he said, evilly.
He then laughed. Evilly.
"I think I'll destroy that planet" he said, evilly.
"But that's EVIL!" contradicted the space-henchman
With a pull of the trigger on Overlord's spacegun, he shot the space-henchman to space-hell.
"That'll show him" he said, evilly.
He then laughed. Evilly.
Space Wars in Space Chapter Nine
"Watch out for that black hole!" warned RoboComputer CPU-a-tron 8000
"That's what she said!" retorted the Captain
"That's what she said!" retorted the Captain
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Space Wars in Space Chapter Eight
"Jesus Christ is that..." uttered Maxxx from the planet Zinglong 3
"An asteroid? I think it is" interrupted Spacefighter Facespicer
"WHO THE FUCKING CUNT ASKED YOU, YOU SPACE GAY?" yelled Maxxx.
"An asteroid? I think it is" interrupted Spacefighter Facespicer
"WHO THE FUCKING CUNT ASKED YOU, YOU SPACE GAY?" yelled Maxxx.
Friday, 13 June 2008
Space Wars in Space Chapter Seven
"Release the lasers, Granklink the Overlord!" suggested an alien
"GET THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK OFF MY SHIP" yelled Granklink
"GET THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK OFF MY SHIP" yelled Granklink
Space Wars in Space Chapter Six
"Captain" mumbled Astril Xxxxfghx, the Princess Alien, "are those fuel gauges meant to read 400%?"
"FUCK YEAH!" replied the Captain, sticking his cock out of the window.
The crew decided that they should vote in a new captain.
"FUCK YEAH!" replied the Captain, sticking his cock out of the window.
The crew decided that they should vote in a new captain.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Space Wars in Space Chapter Five
"Fill me up!" screamed AutoFuelBot
"I can't fill you up!" said the Captain, "you're the one who provides the fuel!"
"I can't fill you up!" said the Captain, "you're the one who provides the fuel!"
Space Wars in Space Chapter Four
"UNIT 43-A, get us to warp factor nine" exclaimed Pilotface
"Who died and made you Captain?" asked UNIT 43-A, in a robot voice
"The captain! YOU KILLED HIM!" replied Pilotface
The entire crew were shocked
"Who died and made you Captain?" asked UNIT 43-A, in a robot voice
"The captain! YOU KILLED HIM!" replied Pilotface
The entire crew were shocked
Space Wars in Space Chapter Three
"You can't teleport something THAT big!" screeched the co-pilot
"Quiet there, alien scum, I'VE GOT A GUN" yelled the voice in the shadows
"Quiet there, alien scum, I'VE GOT A GUN" yelled the voice in the shadows
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
Space Wars in Space Chapter Two
"that's an outrage" exclaimed captain pilotface
"well, if you don't like it, you can get the first spacebus outta here" replied the robot clerk
"well, if you don't like it, you can get the first spacebus outta here" replied the robot clerk
Space Wars in Space Chapter One
written by rubbercat
"get me some soma code red"
"thatll be 500 spacecredits" said the robot clerk
(To move onto the next chapter, select 'Newer Post', and so on and so forth)
"get me some soma code red"
"thatll be 500 spacecredits" said the robot clerk
(To move onto the next chapter, select 'Newer Post', and so on and so forth)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)